Good morning, my dear readers! I hope this post finds you well.
As an update to last week’s post, the client sent a revised review to me and gave me five stars. That was quite kind of him!
I stumbled upon a site recently – a hilarious archive of client/freelancer interactions gone wrong. While I can’t claim any of these stories as my own, I’d like to share a few of my favourites with you!
1. How do I rotate?
2. It’s up to you.
I’ve been wrapping up development of a client’s site and we were meeting to discuss a completion date.
Client: Where are we in terms of wrapping up?
Me: Well, development is done. I’ll just need the content for [some content type] and we can review.
Client: So when do you think we’ll be done?
Me: When you get me the content.
Client: When do you think that will be?
3. Say “Cheese-Rex!”
4. Coming full circle
CLIENT: Can you move it 5 pixels to the right?
CLIENT: Hmm, how about 5 more?
CLIENT: I don’t know. Can you move it 10 pixels to the left?
CLIENT: Ah, perfect!
5. No rest for the wicked
ME: Sorry, I can’t accept this booking. I could never meet the deadline.
ME: Well, because it’s at least 45 hours of work.
CLIENT: So? The deadline is 48 hours away.
6. Yes Man
ME: What genre would your theme song to be?
ME: Well, we could meet up in person to discuss the project further.
CLIENT: Sounds good to me!
ME: Alright, what time would you like to meet?
I did not hear from this person again.
7. Aim Higher
CLIENT: Hey! We need a digital artist to color a sketch one of our guys made. It’s the eight of us as superheroes. Would you be able to do that?
ME: Yes, but eight characters would take time to color.
CLIENT: Oh, that’s okay. We need it next week. How does $5 sound?
I give him a look.
8. No Rest For The Wicked 2: Pregnancy Edition
I had just gone into labour (to have a baby) when a regular client called with some last-minute and typically urgent editing he needed done. It was 10pm on a Friday night.
I explained that I was in labour and that we would be heading to the hospital.
CLIENT: But I heard labour can take anywhere from 10-14 hours, so you should have enough time to do this edit quickly. Please?
9. None More Black
CLIENT: Okay, I want my site’s content to be edgy, to stand out. I’m thinking all black text on a black background.
ME: I’m not sure that’s going to really stand out much.
CLIENT: Why did you get into web design if you have no imagination? Just try to picture it for more than a minute and you’ll see why it’ll work.
10. Heavens to Betsy
“I don’t know… I worry people will read this and think someone who knows how to write wrote them.”
You can find these and a whole lot more on Clients From Hell.
Do you have a funny client story to tell? Discuss in the comments below!
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Happy freelancing and we’ll talk again next week!