Best of the Worst Clients

Good morning, my dear readers! I hope this post finds you well.

As an update to last week’s post, the client sent a revised review to me and gave me five stars. That was quite kind of him!

I stumbled upon a site recently – a hilarious archive of client/freelancer interactions gone wrong. While I can’t claim any of these stories as my own, I’d like to share a few of my favourites with you!

1. How do I rotate? 

credit: Buzzfeed/Clients From Hell

credit: Buzzfeed/Clients From Hell2

2. It’s up to you.

I’ve been wrapping up development of a client’s site and we were meeting to discuss a completion date.

Client: Where are we in terms of wrapping up?

Me: Well, development is done. I’ll just need the content for [some content type] and we can review.

Client: So when do you think we’ll be done?

Me: When you get me the content.

Client: When do you think that will be?

 

3. Say “Cheese-Rex!”

credit: Buzzfeed/Clients From Hell

credit: Buzzfeed/Clients From Hell

4. Coming full circle

CLIENT: Can you move it 5 pixels to the right?

ME: Yup.

CLIENT: Hmm, how about 5 more?

ME: Sure.

CLIENT: I don’t know. Can you move it 10 pixels to the left?

ME: …OK.

CLIENT: Ah, perfect!

 

5. No rest for the wicked

ME: Sorry, I can’t accept this booking. I could never meet the deadline.

CLIENT: Why?

ME: Well, because it’s at least 45 hours of work.

CLIENT: So? The deadline is 48 hours away.

 

6. Yes Man

ME: What genre would your theme song to be?

CLIENT: Okay.

ME: Well, we could meet up in person to discuss the project further.

CLIENT: Sounds good to me!

ME: Alright, what time would you like to meet?

CLIENT: Yes.

I did not hear from this person again.

 

7. Aim Higher

CLIENT: Hey! We need a digital artist to color a sketch one of our guys made. It’s the eight of us as superheroes. Would you be able to do that?

ME: Yes, but eight characters would take time to color.

CLIENT: Oh, that’s okay. We need it next week. How does $5 sound?

I give him a look.

CLIENT: $6?

 

8. No Rest For The Wicked 2: Pregnancy Edition

I had just gone into labour (to have a baby) when a regular client called with some last-minute and typically urgent editing he needed done. It was 10pm on a Friday night.

I explained that I was in labour and that we would be heading to the hospital.

CLIENT: But I heard labour can take anywhere from 10-14 hours, so you should have enough time to do this edit quickly. Please?

 

9. None More Black

CLIENT: Okay, I want my site’s content to be edgy, to stand out. I’m thinking all black text on a black background.

ME: I’m not sure that’s going to really stand out much.

CLIENT: Why did you get into web design if you have no imagination? Just try to picture it for more than a minute and you’ll see why it’ll work.

 

10. Heavens to Betsy

“I don’t know… I worry people will read this and think someone who knows how to write wrote them.”

 

You can find these and a whole lot more on Clients From Hell.

Do you have a funny client story to tell? Discuss in the comments below! 

Be sure to check out my portfolio and professional site here!  Don’t forget to like, comment and subscribe to the blog if you like what you see. 

Happy freelancing and we’ll talk again next week!

– Adam

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